wormhole

ok let me start this off by saying that it constantly amazes me what people will do when the lights are off.

sure there are the standard pda makeout couples, but that's to be expected and totally unremarkable. even when it is remarkable (eg. the chunky couple in matching leather jackets or the lady giving her dude a handje) it's fun and relatively harmless. if people want to order food and then wrap themselves around each other before it arrives, i'm not gonna judge them. actually, i quite enjoy those people, because i get to make them feel uncomfortable. usually, i'll walk up straightfaced and announce what i've got for them, waiting until i am acknowledged before putting it down. if their hands are engaged when i show up, i wait for them to take the food from me instead of putting it down. the people are usually mortified; it's delightful.

it's the people who do inappropriate, selfish things without giving me an opportunity to embarrass them that piss me off.

the stashers, for example, are people who order our really expensive food and then instead of eating it, hide it (or bits of it) underneath or behind their seats. the groomers (who i first observed tonight) are people who trim their nails or tweeze nose hairs or floss in the theater instead of in the privacy of their homes. then there are the aptly named dickheads. these are the people who just dump whatever they don't like on the floor in front of them. sandwiches, beer bottles, condiment cups. you name it, they plop it down with a splat or a crash with nary a thought for who'll have to clean it up.


if there was any justice in the world, we'd have one of these set up in the floor: