because hey, free pizza

tonight i brought a woman a pizza. i walked up to her and said, "hi, i've got a braveheart here." i receive a blank stare. undaunted, i forged ahead. "ma'am, did you have the braveheart?" glazed look. nonplussed, i took another stab. "it's a spinach pizza with garlic cloves and goat cheese and sun dried tomatoes." i concluded my utterance on a rising pitch contour in the hope that the woman might recognize this extremely common interrogative signal. instead, she shifted her shoulders and craned her neck to the left so that she could see past me to the screen. the girl two seats over gave me a sympathetic smile and a shrug.

now, i’m a pretty unassuming guy. i am reserved in social situations and i generally don’t attract a lot of attention to myself. that said, i don't think i've ever before been so totally ignored. the woman was not the least bit curious about why i was blocking her view of the screen; she simply recognized that her vision was obstructed and took the necessary steps to restore it. well, although i was confused by this odd behavior, i wasn’t terribly bothered by it because hey, free pizza.

the movie she was watching by the way was the ugly truth, a vomitous little film which for some reason continues to sell out despite its total lack of any positive qualities. seriously, the best thing about this movie is that it eventually ends.